The Nail That Sticks Out... and the Village That Celebrates It

Earlier this year, I was invited to join a plenary panel at the Asian Conference on Aging & Gerontology in Tokyo, organized by The International Academic Forum (IAFOR). Sharing the platform with Hector Garcia, co-author of Ikigai, Professor Sawano, and moderated by Professor Dexter DaSilva, I challenged one of the most familiar assumptions about Japan—an assumption that has found its way into countless books, business seminars, and conversations about Japanese culture.

"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down."

The saying has become shorthand for the idea that Japan values conformity above individuality. It paints a picture of a society where standing out is discouraged and where people suppress their uniqueness for the sake of the group.

After spending the past three years traveling throughout Japan researching longevity, I no longer believe that description tells the whole story.

My research has taken me to many of Japan's longevity hotspots. I have lived in Okinawa and the Amami Islands, traveled through mountain villages in Nagano, visited fishing communities along the Sea of Japan, spent time in cities and remote islands, attended festivals, interviewed academics, healthcare workers, and older adults, and shared meals with people whose lives rarely appear in academic papers. I set out to understand why some communities continue to produce remarkably long healthspans. Along the way, I became increasingly convinced that the health of a community is both an indicator of healthy aging and one of its principal drivers.

Japan is unquestionably a society that values harmony. Consideration for others is woven into daily life. It is reflected in language, behavior, and countless small interactions that visitors notice almost immediately. Expressions such as sumimasen, onegaishimasu, and shitsurei shimasu are more than polite phrases. They express an awareness that we do not live in isolation. We live among other people, and our actions affect them.

What surprised me was the extraordinary individuality I encountered within the very communities where people seem to age the best.

In two weeks' time, I will be welcoming Chiharu back to my boat for her second sail. At ninety-one, she lives independently, plays golf every week, plays tennis every month, writes haiku, and has become one of the most memorable people I have met during this journey. When she sailed with me in April, she happily took the helm and reveled in steering a yacht for the first time. She then told me her next ambition—to obtain a boat captain's license. She didn't come alone. Four generations of her family came with her, laughing, encouraging one another, and enjoying the day together.

There was no suggestion from those around her that she should become less adventurous because of her age. On the contrary, her enthusiasm brought delight to everyone who knew her. Chiharu was unmistakably herself, and her community celebrated that.

I found the same pattern again and again.

While attending a haiku workshop at the conference in Tokyo, I met two women whose personalities were as distinctive as their poetry. One delighted the room with playful observations. Another challenged convention with unexpected imagery and perspective. They explained that while haiku is anchored in the seasons, it is equally rooted in personal observation. Creativity was not treated as something disruptive to the group. It enriched the group.

The same spirit appears in village festivals. Young men rehearse traditional dances under the watchful eyes of older men who performed them decades earlier. Every participant understands the responsibility of preserving the tradition faithfully. Yet within that shared commitment, there is humor, personality, and flair. Tradition is not extinguishing individuality. It provides the stage on which individuality flourishes.

Even karaoke tells the same story. Few activities are more associated with Japan than gathering with friends or colleagues to sing. Some sing beautifully. Others are gloriously off-key. Some perform emotional Japanese ballads, while others choose children's songs, Elvis Presley, or classic rock. Nobody receives applause for technical perfection. Everyone receives applause for having the courage to participate. Karaoke is not a celebration of conformity. It is a celebration of belonging. People feel sufficiently secure among friends to reveal a side of themselves that might otherwise remain hidden.

These are more than my personal observations.

Psychologist Yuji Ogihara has documented that Japan has become steadily more individualistic over recent decades. Rising numbers of people living alone, increasing diversity in children's names, changing family structures, and other social indicators point to a society that is evolving rather than remaining culturally fixed. At the same time, Japan continues to retain many of the characteristics associated with collectivist cultures. Individuality and community have not replaced one another. They coexist.

That distinction matters because collectivism and conformity are not synonyms.

Collectivism asks people to consider the welfare of the group. Conformity asks people to become the same. Healthy communities require the first. They do not require the second.

In fact, the healthiest communities I visited seemed to thrive precisely because people brought their individuality into community life. Every village had its characters. There was the fisherman who had no intention of retiring, the outspoken elder with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, the woman in her nineties who exchanged witty banter with everyone she met, the festival organizer whose enthusiasm held the community together, and the neighbor whose humor surfaced at exactly the right moment. Their uniqueness was not merely tolerated. It had become part of the community's identity.

This observation also helps explain something that has troubled many Western societies.

Over the past half-century, we have become increasingly committed to individual expression. At the same time, loneliness has risen, trust has declined, and participation in community life has weakened. We often assume that belonging limits individuality, when the opposite is frequently true. People who know they belong no longer need to fight for significance by constantly distinguishing themselves. Secure communities give people the confidence to become more fully themselves.

Japan has reminded me that individuality and community are not competing ideals. They are partners.

The communities where I encountered the greatest vitality were not communities where everyone thought alike, dressed alike, or behaved alike. They were communities where people shared a commitment to mutual respect while bringing their own gifts, personalities, humor, and quirks into the lives of others.

That is why I now hear the famous proverb differently.

"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down" captures one aspect of Japanese society, particularly within certain institutions and organizations. It does not describe the villages, neighborhoods, and communities where I found some of the healthiest and longest-lived people in the world.

Those communities teach me a different lesson. Healthy communities do not suppress individuality. They create the conditions in which individuality flourishes because it is anchored in trust, respect, and belonging.

As more countries wrestle with aging populations, loneliness, and declining social cohesion, this is one of Japan's most valuable lessons. The goal is not to choose between the individual and the community. The goal is to build communities strong enough that people become more completely themselves while contributing to something far larger than themselves.

Endnotes

1.     Ogihara, Y. (2017). Temporal Changes in Individualism and Their Ramifications in Japan: Rising Individualism and Conflicts with Persisting Collectivism. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, Article 695.

2.     Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the Self: Implications for Cognition, Emotion, and Motivation. Psychological Review, 98(2), 224–253.

3.     Hofstede, G., Hofstede, G. J., & Minkov, M. (2010). Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill.

4.     Garcia, H., & Miralles, F. (2016). Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. Penguin Books.

5.     The field observations described in this article are drawn from the author's three-year research journey across Japan's forty-seven prefectures between 2023 and 2026.

About the Author

Lowell Sheppard, FRGS, is Founder of the Never Too Late Academy, Fellow of the Royal Geographical Society, Special Advisor to the International Academic Forum (IAFOR), and a long-term resident of Japan. Over the past three years he has travelled throughout Japan researching longevity, healthy ageing, and the role of community in extending healthspan. His forthcoming book, Longevity and the Art of Community: Lessons from Japan, explores what societies around the world can learn from Japan's longest-lived communities.