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Milestone Moments

Updated: Aug 8, 2023

Saying "Goodbye" is never easy

Today I recalled an emotional weekend that took place two years ago.

It was the day I had chosen to have a drop-in farewell party for my sailboat Wahine at the marina where she had called home for nearly ten years. We are about to sail out from that harbor for the last time.

It was a milestone moment for Wahine and, of course, myself.

Milestone moments are emotional

Years ago, while in Bosnia, I sought advice, from some UN soldiers with whom I had become acquainted, on how to cope with suffering. They said you have to turn the volume down on your emotions. It basically embraces the "Principle of Least Interest". Often practiced in business and even personal relationships, the principle embraces the notion that whoever has the least interest in the outcome, has the greatest power. It is a principle I have chosen NOT to live my life by. But rather, I made a conscious decision to care, and to care deeply, believing it is what makes us human. And, rather than debilitating it is empowering.

So, it is milestone moments, an intersection that we mark with emotion, that allows us to move on. I have been praised (and I am told, criticized) for recruiting sponsors. But you know, in almost every case, the sponsorship is the result of deep friendships and a long relationship of trust and mutual support. That makes me all the more grateful, and even emotional that these friends of mine stand with me. I also have friends, very good friends, who said that even if I didn't ask for sponsors, they would support me because they are scared for me. I respect that completely. Relationships matter to me. Longevity of friendship matters. I have an inner circle of friends but it is not exclusive. It grows as trust and respect grows. It grieves me deeply when relationships end, whether through death (I have lost many friends over the years and our own son, our firstborn, passed away... and damn, it hurts) or when a relationship breaks down, due to argument or loss of trust. But even then, redemption and grace are available as steps are taken to restore the relationship. For me, redemption and grace are concepts I live by. Love, to be loved, is unconditional. But it is not always easy.

So, back to Wahine's farewell party...

The farewell party was more deeply felt than I expected. I looked at those who had gathered (scattered across the dock) and thought of those who were not able to come, and the thought of taking Wahine from her decade-long home, was significant. So, the tears came. But, also I knew it was time to move on, the light was green and the tears had dried, I celebrate the progress that had been made in preparing for the voyage and the people who have joined me in caring.



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