I get by with a little help from my friends.
John Lennon, songwriter
You cannot teach people anything. You can only help them to discover it within themselves.
Galileo Galilei, scientist and thinker
Jud had never met Dave Turner and was surprised when Dave recognized his voice on the phone.
“You must be Jud,” Dave said. “You sound like your father. Are you on your way to New York?”
“Yes, I’ve booked an overnight flight tonight. I arrive in the morning.”
“OK. Give me a couple of hours. Your dad asked if he could borrow some technology, which I need to organize. Can you phone me back? Everything should be set up in an hour or two, and I can let you know what time to come by. OK?”
“Sure,” Jud agreed.
“Your dad was a good man, a great man, and I’m looking forward to meeting you,” Dave said.
“Thanks, me too,” Jud replied.
An office seemed an unlikely location to end his three-month journey. Jud was curious. One thing he knew: never underestimate his father’s ability to engineer a surprise. He had no idea what to expect, nor did he try to speculate. When Jud phoned back, Dave asked if 1 p.m. was all right.
“Yep, I can do that,” Jud said. He wrote down Dave’s address and thanked him for going to so much trouble.
“No problem, Jud. Anything for your dad.”
Jud tried to sleep on the “red-eye” flight to New York, but he felt apprehensive. The next bed he would sleep in would be his own, and then the real challenge would begin: would he slip back into the routine that had become his life, or would he have the inner fortitude to follow through on the goals he had written in his journal? Flying solo had boosted his confidence that anything was possible. But he feared that once back in familiar surroundings, “muscle memory” would kick in, and he would revert to living his life on autopilot. The thud broke his train of thought of the plane’s landing gear hitting the tarmac.
Once in the terminal, Jud spotted Kathryn.
“Congratulations on your solo flight,” she whispered in his ear as they hugged.
“Thanks,” he replied. “I’ve missed you. Let’s get out of here.” They walked outside to hail a taxi, their arms tightly around each other’s waists.
In the taxi, Kathryn was full of news and stories: nothing of a dramatic nature, but simple, everyday news. Jud felt nourished by his wife’s energy. He had so much to tell her, but there was too much, far too much for the moment, so he settled for simply describing his time leading up to his solo flight and how great he had felt when the air traffic controller congratulated him over the radio. He showed Kathryn the solo certificate and the photo of himself beaming alongside Terry, his flight instructor.
They had a couple of hours to kill before the 1 p.m. meeting, so they strolled through Central Park on a fine spring day.
“So what is this 1 p.m. meeting about?” Kathryn asked.
“No idea,” Jud said. “All I know is that Dad asked his friend Dave for some technical help. We’ll know soon.”
Friends in New York
Jud arrived at the unfamiliar address ten minutes early. He had asked Kathryn to come with him, but she had declined.
“I’ll be at Starbucks around the corner,” his wife had responded. “Give me a call on my cell phone when you’re about to leave. We’ll eat out before we take the ferry back to New Jersey. OK? There’s not a lot of food in the apartment.”
“Sure,” Jud had said. “I’ve no idea how long I’ll be or what’s going to happen, but I’ll see you when I see you.”
Jud took the elevator to the 43rd floor and followed signs to Ryco Digital Group. He introduced himself to the receptionist, who immediately recognized his name and called him. The elevator door opened three minutes later, and a tall man in a dark suit walked out.
“Hi, Jud,” the man said with a million-dollar smile. “My name is Dave Turner. I knew your dad very well, and when he asked me for a favor, I was more than happy to help out. Follow me; the video conference room is ready.”
Dave led Jud through the open-plan offices. The deep plush carpet gave way under his feet with each step, and Jud noted how energized, yet peaceful, the office atmosphere was. They walked past an expansive corner office; Jud noticed Dave’s name on the door and the title “President” underneath. The video conference room was next door to Dave’s office. Jud only had a moment to enjoy the view, as no sooner were they in the room than Dave pressed a button, and blinds silently covered the windows, leaving the room dark except for the glow emitted from a large screen at the end of the room.
“Please sit down, Jud. All will be revealed in a few moments,” David said, offering Jud a chair facing the screen.
Suddenly, a video image of Jud’s father appeared on the screen. He was in his bed at the hospital. With a voice that only hinted at the strength it once had, he said,
“Jud, you are now at the end of the journey you have taken at my request: no more envelopes and surprises. I have a final word of advice for you. It is almost certain that I will die soon; the cancer that took your mother has come for me, too. But you know, I am dying a happy man, and I have you to thank. Jud, you once declared you did not want to be like me. You told me of the pledge you and your friends made in London many years ago and that you were going to hold each other accountable for pursuing your dreams. It troubled me then, but I respected you for it, and it got me thinking about my own life.
“When your mother died, I was awakened. Up to that point in my life, I had believed that my career was paramount. Still, your mother’s death made me realize that life itself was most important and that it should be lived with curiosity and celebration and a disposition towards service. So I reoriented my life. As you know, I have decided to leave the company and start a consultancy. However, I also got involved in a variety of other activities, including a non-profit organization that I founded, and in addition, I took up painting, cycling, and travel. The consultancy paid the bills, and I began to enjoy my work life a lot more when it became only one of many things I was involved in.
“I was lucky to meet three people who inspired me with the notion that a diverse and balanced life is possible and healthy. One of the three is David, sitting in this room with you. He kindly organized this meeting. The other two are Ted in Beijing and Judith in London. These three people have taught me a lot. I won’t bore you with the details of how I met each of them, except to say that I have known them for about ten years. I have observed them succeeding in their respective spheres at work and learned from them when they have failed. They are not single-focus people. They each have a variety of interests and are all active in community service and outreach of some sort. They have agreed today to hear the story of your journey. They may even share some of their own experiences. I wanted you to meet them and them to meet you. They are among my dearest friends and most trusted mentors. I am not suggesting they need to become yours, but I wanted you to meet the people to whom I am indebted for showing me a way to live life to the fullest.
So, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, David’s generosity, and Ted’s and Judith’s willingness to get up at an unearthly hour, you will enjoy each other’s company for the next two hours. I trust that telling them of your journey and the lessons you have learned will help clarify and solidify your reawakened dreams and goals.
“So I guess this is goodbye. Be assured that I am dying a happy man. I love you, Jud.
Jud fought back tears as his father’s image faded out. Then, the images of Judith and Ted came in. He felt embarrassed, but the sight of Judith dabbing the corner of her eyes with a tissue and Ted looking straight into the camera with eyes wide open but a hint of a tear welling up put him at ease.
“Hello, Jud,” they chorused together.
“Your dad was a special man who did a special thing for you, Jud. We’re curious to hear about your adventure,” Judith said.
“We are all ears!” Ted leaned back in his chair and smiled.
Jud had been home for six months and was settled. His round-the-world adventure had begun to blur in some detail, but Jud knew he had changed. The video conference in New York was significant. Judith, Ted, and David not only listened to the story of his trip but also probed him with searching questions about his dreams, values, and spirituality. Jud found the session liberating. They all asked him to keep in touch. After the video conference, Dave invited Jud into his office.
“Your father said he learned from us,” David said. “But in truth, we were mentored by him.”
Jud and Dave talked for a few more minutes. As they rose and shook hands, Dave looked at Jud squarely and said, “Don’t waste the last three months. Use it as a springboard from which to make qualitative life choices. You can be assured that we are watching with interest, and will stay in touch. You can see us as your informal advisory board. Call any time.”
With their help and Kathryn's full support and participation, Jud returned home to a new life. It had familiar touchstones, but now he woke up most mornings with a sense of adventure. He felt alive.
It was 6 a.m. Saturday. Jud had one email to write and two longhand letters to write. The email was to Robert and Sarah, whom he had contacted within hours of getting home several months ago. He had phoned each of them, describing what had happened on the trip. He had also promised to report to them how he was doing with the goals he had set.
Hey, Robert and Sarah,
Trust you’re both well. It’s been a few months since we last chatted and when I promised to let you know how things were going. I was happy when the trip ended. Seeing the world is great, but it’s true that “there’s no place like home”. And home is even better now! Things I had grown familiar with are so much more enjoyable. It’s as if my antennae have been raised. I’m noticing people, smells, and activities that I haven’t seen before. I could go on, but I promised you an update on some decisions I have been considering. Well, here they are:
Kathryn and I have decided to wait no longer: we’re going to have a child, due in five months. We’re both excited! After the adventure that my father laid out for me, I realized how important it is to pass a family’s history and wisdom on to the new generation. I want to leave a legacy to someone, too. I regret that it took me this long to agree to something Kathryn has always wanted, but I guess it's better late than never.
I am not going to pursue flying. I did what I dreamed of doing: flying an airplane by myself. But I'm satisfied with accomplishing my dream.
I have decided to stay with my company for two more years and then move on. Perhaps I’ll become a consultant, or Kathryn and I are even mulling about starting our own business.
I’ve kept up my physical fitness regime but now run about ten kilometers every other day. Kathryn, who was always fitter than I, has persuaded me to sign up for a half-marathon in three months. I’m enjoying the training, but I’m a bit nervous about actually running in a competition.
Finally, I guess it is relevant that we are now helping to raise money for an NGO that is doing work in the Philippines promoting organic farming and sustainable development. The need is so great, but I came home convinced each person had to do his or her part. Roberto, the Filipino friend I told you about, put me on them, and I’m pleased to say that we’re staying in contact.
I have also gotten involved in a micro-finance project in Africa. I’ll be working with the US office, which focuses on funding strategies and building funds available to the rural poor who need access to inexpensive capital on compassionate terms to help them get a leg up out of their debilitating poverty. The potential buzzes me. It seems a good fit with my training as an economist and my newfound vision to be a giver and not just a taker. No doubt you will hear more about this.
As you know, I’m not much of a churchgoer, but I now attend Kathryn’s church most Sundays. I find the setting-aside of an hour a week for reflection and meditation enriching.
Finally, we have decided to invite my brother Grant to come and spend next summer with us. I’m unsure how he will respond, but I hope he chooses to come.
That’s it for now. How about you guys? What's up with you? How is the new product line, Robert? Have you opened the Taipei office yet? How about the extension on your practice, Sarah…is it finished yet?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Jud
Jud hit “Send”, turned away from the computer, and put his pen to paper.
Dear Grant,
I have fond memories of our time together in New Zealand. I’m sorry if I appeared distant. I’m still getting used to having a brother. The more I think about it and reflect on the days you and I spent together, the more I feel excited about getting to know you better. How about visiting us for a few weeks next summer (your winter)? If it helps, we can schedule appointments with potential wine distributors.
I do hope you can come. And I look forward to hearing from you.
Your brother, Jud
Jud leaned back in his chair momentarily and looked out the window. The dawn chorus celebrated a new day, and the smell of freshly cut grass accented the beautiful autumn morning. In a few moments, he would be out on his training run; he was already looking forward to it. But there was one final letter to write. He pulled out a drawer and removed a postcard he had purchased in Tanzania. He gazed at the picture of Mt. Kilimanjaro for a moment, recalling his climb, then turned it over and began writing.
Dad,
Thank you. I miss you, but I know you have left something of yourself in me. I have good news: you and Mom are going to be grandparents. I am sorry this didn’t happen sooner, as I know you would have been great at it.
Dad, you will never know how grateful I am that you were thinking of me in the midst of your own suffering. The adventure you gave me taught me many lessons about living a large and full life. Be assured that I am not going to squander your investment in me. I will live my life as a tribute to you.
I love you.
Jud
How about you?
Jud’s journey wasn’t just a physical adventure but a profound exploration of self, values, and purpose. His father’s meticulously crafted experience helped Jud rediscover forgotten dreams and embrace new, more meaningful ones. It serves as a reminder to us all: life is short, and our time is precious. We must take the time to reflect on our own lives, recalibrate when necessary, and pursue our goals with renewed vigor and a sense of purpose.
Your journey, like Jud’s, is an ongoing narrative. Whether you're just beginning to explore your dreams or refining them, know that it's never too late to take action. Reach out to those who inspire you, keep learning, and most importantly, live a life that reflects your true values.
Take the first step today. Explore the dreams you’ve left behind or the ones you've yet to discover. And remember, every great journey begins with a single step.
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